this is not a call to you.

sometimes I just wished that I had someone who would take me serious for once and listen to what I have to say instead of constantly putting me down whenever I have some shit happening in my lives, which is rather on a daily basis.

I admit that I get pretty jealous whenever I see any 2 friends/couples behaving very intimately. I don't want another half, but I just want someone to be there nearby whenever shit happens. Because, certain friends tend to be alittle far away, and by the time they arrive, it's like "Thank you for your effort, but what's the point?"

I need a serious conversation, a heart to heart talking session, a bawl my eyes out session with someone who takes me seriously. all the potential candidates have disappointed me miserably.

As much as I'm constantly yakking that I'm rather independant. Oh well. like what the fuck.

and another you, why can't you treat me the same way you treat her? didn't you just gave the both of us the same positions?

I fucking need a break la. thus, ive planned my break perfectly well. I've decided to either slit my wrists, breathe in more glue, get some weird shit infection, eat more durians to get fever, get soaked in the rain and proceed to dry myself under the fucking hot sun so i'll fall sick, eat expired food, anorexia - eat and puke, do either one of them, and do it well.

it's like do also die, don't do also die, might as well do your fucking best and die?

due to high fever, or physically/psychologically hurt, i'll get admitted to hospital. can't eat, and will be put on drip. will probably stay in the hospital for like 2 weeks? not bad, on drip can lose weight. stay in hospital can stay away from school.

and avoid people that I don't really wanna see because all they do is to reopen old wounds and smear salt all over-again. If i get admitted to hospital, i then don't have to fake as if i'm really liking everything i see because apparently, im not.

No, i don't need your sympathy right now, just give me a fucking break for God's sake.

signing off,
the happiest girl that ever lived on the earth,
lynette lee ai ling.

I'm sorry.

Firstly, I want to say Hi to my new stalker - Jacky bao bao. fellow l-word flend. HURHURHUR. you are THE one. Ming Tian Ming Tian!!

Secondly, I want to apologise to every single soul out there who befriended me because they thought I was a happy kid. I feel as if I've cheated you. I'm Sorry. Now you're free to break the friendship that you and I once shared. Be it long or short, brief or deep, love or hate, if you feel cheated, BREAK IT NOW, so that you won't cheat me by pretending that everything's alright. Or worst, ignore me without any possible reasons. I'll fuck you for that.

I'm sorry if you were a depressed emo kid and was looking for a happy pill to brighten up your neverending abyss and you somehow thought I qualified for that role.

I'm sorry if you were a happy kid yourself and was finding for someone to share your happiness with and you somehow thought I could be the one.

I'm sorry if you were a kid with a very boring life and was looking for someone to excite your life and you thought I was exciting.

I'm done with the apologies. Next up would probably be the fuck yous. (:

Shane McCutcheon

she looks pretty/handsomehot in the ad. the 6-pecs.

She(yes, SHE *rolls eyes), is very very hot as a male & female. My new rolemodel. hurhurhur

Androgynous. Perfect

I wanna be as thin as her, and I like her hair in the l-word as Shane Mccutcheon. *faints

Wife, can I cut my hair like hers?

Define Beauty? She just redefined my version of Beauty. tsk tsk.

it's better to burn out, than to fade away.

it's better to burn out, than to fade away. - as quoted by Kurt Cobain.

Kurt Cobain, the lead vocalist, guitarist of the very famous band then, Nirvana. Nirvana was a band that plays the genre -grunge-, alternative rock. It's leader, Kurt Cobain, was a drug user (not abuser), heroin/morphine to be exact. Unlike others that uses such banned drugs for thrills and pleasures, Cobain's different. He uses them cos it reliefs him from a physical pain in his stomach, his "burning, nauseatic stomach", as quoted by himself.

I heard about this guy from Zhirong on Junhong's birthday celebration on Sunday. Mathew was wearing a shirt about this guy. A shirt that has the picture of Kurt Cobain's suicide note. Yes, he's dead.

Dead.

This is Kurt Cobain, whom I must say, one of the greatest singers ever,:

He died at the age of 27, around early April, around the 5th, 1994. Twenty-Seven, 27. Too young to die. It's a waste. His death? He shot himself through his mouth with a rifle/gun. Some people, including myself speculate that it wasn't a suicide, but a murder. I feel that Courtney Love, his wife, has something to do with this. Apparently when you're so high on drugs, in Cobain's case, about 1.5mg of heroin was found in 1 litre of his blood (Can you imagine how much drugs he took within that period of time!?), you do NOT have the strength, ability to even lift a rifle/gun, much less squeeze the trigger. His suicideI don't know, that's my point of view.

What make things more suspicious is that this guy, known as El Duce, died a few days after he went public about Courtney Love paying him to kill Cobain. His reason of death? He left his house with an unknown man, got drunk and got ran over by a train. Fishy.

Anyway, the point of this post isn't to start another webpage on this controversial issue. But just to clarify my own thoughts with myself. It's totally none of YOUR business. Also, although he's dead, and I knew him for like barely a day (by researching), I'm starting to admire him. I don't know in what way, cos nothing really seems to be positive on the outside - he takes drugs, smokes, cuss, got into rehab, and if I'm not wrong, probably got into trouble with law before too.

I don't know, I guess it's the feeling, or the sudden attachment sometimes one may have with a total unfamiliar individual. It's like a feeling, like I actually know Kurt Cobain, and I know exactly what he went through.

Something along that line.

Yes, and I intend to get a tattoo. hur hur hur

let's get low.

I'm feel rather mixed up right now, in both negative and positive way.

Actually, to be exact, MOOD = APATHETIC. Uh huh. I'm not feeling anything (probably due to the fact the touch rug camp that all of us have dreading is coming this friday:S)

I feel very fat. 2 words : very disgusting. :S And I've successfully won the battle against the gigantic pimple which has been on my face since last saturday after contact rugby. OHOHOH, contact was fantabulous. (: Yes, as I was saying about the pimple, it is very irritating because it causes a bump on my face and IT IS VERY PROMINENT THOUGH I'VE PUT DOWN MY freaking long fringe which I have every intention to cut by the end of this week due to the fact that it's long, I'll always get a centre parting after flying all over. Like crap.

And now, amidst all the drama-mama I'm having with my pimple and other stuff all over in the entire universe, I feel a little lovey dovey. :D LIKE HELLO? who can resist the Jonas Brothers? Esp their new hit single, no, not really a single, but yeah, you get me, WHEN YOU LOOK ME IN YOUR EYES.

When you look me in the eyes
And tell me that you love me
Everything's alright
When you're right here by my side

When you look me in the eyes
I catch a glimpse of heaven
I find my paradise
When you look me in the eyes.

And it's all because,
you're right here by my side.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! please don't ever jump to conclusions!! It's not to anyone. Cos I have no one in my mind, except Jannie (HEHEHEHEHHEHHE). Other than that, I'm just indulging in such pop/rock songs because they get me to THE mood at times. And it's really nice at times because it allows me to have a break from the bustling education life that we're living in, which is, by the way, like crap, FYI. *rolls eyes. I can see no reason why are we studying weird Math such as Binomial, functions ( I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHY) and Correlation. It's like, even if we were to do business in the future, wouldn't we just have to use the 1 + 1 = 2 rule? I mean, DON'T TELL ME YOU'RE GONNA LIKE LN YOUR REVENUE AND DIFFERENTIATE YOUR PROFITS AND INTEGRATE YOUR BLOODY SAVINGS. please ah, thank you very much.

NO! I CANNNOT HAVE SUCH MINDSET.

I love math
I love math
I love math
I love math
I love math
I love math
I love math

YES. I LOVE MATH.

the truth in your eyes, saying you'll never leave me

All I can remember is that, I am a very happy girl today.

I'm really amazed. I'm just very very happy. HAHAHA

Guitar + love songs + a boy of your choice = very sweet.

aftermath = you'll just keep smiling to yourself, looking very retarded.

Speaking of retarded, I've been called 'silly' twice with a short span of 2 days. & I'm not hating it. :D. EEEEEEEEEEEE I SOUND SO CRAZY IN LOVE WHEN IM APPARENTLY NOT, IT MUST BE VALERIE.

If only you weren't from the same school as him, I'd probably wouldn't have stayed this far from you. :(

CONTACT RUGBY TMR , I KNOW I'LL MAKE IT ALIVE.

tomorrow's timetable = wake up, eat, study, rugby, eat, study.